wrigley field is MILF paradise
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize