This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
two words...techno handjob
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
