i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
