I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
