Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
