ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
