"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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