Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize