i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
