"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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