What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
