dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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