the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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