I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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