what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
