Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
