what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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