We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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