I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
