Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
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he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
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We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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