god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
