I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
