8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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