just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize