I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize