This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
