don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
