Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
