everyone is single if you try hard enough
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
