Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
