Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
