I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
