I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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