apparently the secret to your success is patron
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
do nipples grow back?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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