that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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