let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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