Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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