i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I will be naked everywhere
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
