Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Let's get the cat blown out
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
