Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
