I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
