im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
