physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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