i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize