I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
