And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
