my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
