I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
