Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
