Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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