he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
