then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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