i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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