found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
