I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you traded sex for a burrito?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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